Obama - Putting The Mess Into Messiah

Uh uh, Senator Barack [...] Obama (D-Ill) is having a 'senior moment'. The Independent Voters of Illinois-Independent Precinct Organization - rolls of the tongue, don't it, kinda like Komitet Gosudarstvennoi Bezopasnosti - is a Democratic Party deep-space satellite that's so far out there it's orbit intersects with the Earth only once every four years. To celebrate these episodic transits IVI marks the cards of local pols to vet their ideological purity - partial-birth decapitation, gun control, anti-death penalty, pro-ERA, the UN is the best hope of the Earth, USA stands for Uncontrollable Sadists Amalgamated - the usual savory menu of Far Left delicacies designed to titillate the palates of anyone hoping for a career in Democratic Illinois politics. Remember this is where domestic terrorist Bill Ayres is revered as a local boy made good.

Obama was quids in with this group of committed Americans. According to IVI State Chairman, David K. Igasaki, “our chapter basically was his field operation. ... Those people [IVI cadrés] were already working for him, and it was important for him to identify with us". In 1996 Obama in answering the pressure groups questionnaire passed his ideological purity test with flying colors - none of them red, white and blue.


Support state legislation to “ban the manufacture, sale and possession of handguns"? Yes.

Death penalty? No.

Abortion up to and including birth? Yes.

Minors should be required at the very least to notify parents before an abortion? No.


The Senator, since it was revealed to him on a secret midnight ascent of Mount Rushmore that he is in fact our Messiah, has endeavored to nuance these bald yeas and nays. 'Nuance' is a French word meaning "to obfuscate or fudge an issue in order to conceal your real position for the purpose of enhancing your viability with an electorate far broader but, you hope, even dumber than the original coterie of Far Left dingbats you found so congenial when you could let it all hang out".

He has now discovered a penumbra in his personal constitution that favors 'counselling' by somebody or other if the girl wanting an abortion is a virtual child and in danger of 'abuse'. He now supports "common sense" gun control laws while also respecting the rights of "law- abiding gun owners" - as if anybody had urged him to champion the rights of felonious gunslingers.

He is now in favor of the death penalty for certain crimes - as opposed to the rest of us who want the death penalty for all crimes right down to running a red light - but, nuacedly, wants no executions to take place until, no doubt, the process can be made infallible.

How does he defend this timely migration from Nutt County, Illinois to what he hopes is Middletown, USA? He listened to focus groups? He grew half a brain? He fell out of his Porsche on the way to Damascus, Virginia with Mikki and the kids? No. No. And hell no. You see, he never, ever, ever held the views he told IVI he had. In fact he never told them anything, you know "those people...already working for him" who were "basically his field operation". He declared that staffers - ignorant serfs incapable of fathoming their master's bewildering array of sophisticated nuances - filled out the IVI questionnaires for him, answering 'yes' and 'no' without appending the lawyerly 'wherebys', 'neverthelesses' and 'hithertofores' necessary for serious political masquerading.

Now Politico.com has unearthed a copy of the questionnaire covered in annotations in the Senator's own hand! A "liar, liar, pants on fire" situation, you cry. Not a bit of it. Obama says that though he wrote on the document he didn't read it, approve of it or fill it in! When I heard this at first I was dumbfounded. Surely this cannot be. As the man himself says of the present gun control regulations, it flies in the face of, well, "common sense". Then it dawned on me. I fell off my porch, as it were, and saw the light. Obama had smoked the questionnaire, yes, but he hadn't inhaled! He didn't have consensual relations with that document, the..uh..IVI questionnaire.

Let joy be unconfined. All is explained. The First Non-Racial, Post-Racial, Inter-Racial President - for so it is written and so it will be - is the Living Reincarnation of the Most High, Most Revered One, The First Black President, Wily William the Winsome, who issuing forth from the Sacred South did scatter His Seed broadcast upon the hungry soil so that there did spring up a veritable White Water of Suicides, Chinese Donors, Blue Dresses, Travel-Office Firings, Jailings of Friends, Perjurings, Impeachments, Pardons for Gift Givers, Furniture Filching, yea, till throughout the land a vast Niagara of Public Treasure did cascade into the calculating coffers of all who did praise His Name.

In other words, Barack [...] Obama is not the first Democrat to put the hype back into hypocrisy but he is the latest.

And, for the moment, the most dangerous.